Opening the Box of Worms

So the great Pandora experiment has reached half a dozen games played, and at this point I thought I’d jot some thoughts down to reflect on it.

I went into this knowing full well that it would require some serious play style adaptations. For most of this year I’ve been playing Arcanists who are one of the more forgiving factions. They have ways to score schemes coming out of their proverbial. Practiced Production makes most of them so easy I’ve actually started a thread on the Wyrd forums asking the games developers to look at it. The Arcanists have at least 3 tools for pretty much every occasion and as long as you bring the right tool and don’t play like a complete dickhead (there’s my problem right there…), any of those 3 will probably do the job.

 

That’s not been my experience with Neverborn so far. I’ve made some real clangers. Using a buried Bandersnatch to try and score Accusation for example – the model is buried, so it doesn’t engage anyone. They just remove the condition and carry on, whilst I thump my head against the table. And between Fears Given Form and Misery it is far too easy to accidentally kill a model, either yours or the opponent’s, and cost yourself Frame for Murder or Set Up.

 

There have been some amusing moments courtesy of ‘Panzer tech’, weird ideas I like to use to throw people. Rougarou Pinball was an experiment in Arcanists courtesy of Cojo, but actually works pretty well in Neverborn with Barbaros and Tooth. Using Wisps and Poltergeist to drop 3 Paranormal markers a turn (they project a 3” bubble that requires a TN15 WP duel or gain slow – why would that be bad around Pandora…) was funny, and may actually have a place in certain circumstances.

 

But things are starting to mesh. Pandora has won 2 games, drawn 1 (it was 4-4 after I cost myself both schemes – I’m counting this as a moral win) and lost 3, and I understand now what she does and what she needs. Of herself, on her card, she doesn’t do an awful lot. She needs enemy models to mess with. Use their damage tracks against them. Make them take duels with nasty consequences if they fail. Get those infamous auras in the right place. Joel Henry was spot on right when he said that she’s plutonium – being near her is very bad for your health.

 

Pandora excels at blocking your opponent and clearing out their weaker models. What’s new for me is that I need my crew to deal with opposing heavy hitters as well as having point scoring capability, as opposed to sending Lady Justice, Marcus, Ironsides, Sonnia or Rasputina to remove the threats like I’ve always done. It’s a completely different way of building a crew.

My game last night was a crushing defeat at the hands of Joel but the chat after the game and some emails flying around has given me some new ideas, and I’m looking forward to trying them out at the English GT this weekend down in Essex. I expect to be lower to mid table at best, and my tiny brain will probably implode day 2 with overwork, but I’m gonna give it a go!

 

 

Hot Topic - Chucking Principles in a Box

Good morning, Malifaux world.

A lot has happened since this blog went to sleep. Wave 5 has been confirmed and much of it appeared on an open playtest. There have been many, many events. It turned out that Americans really can play Malifaux and us Europeans were being sniffy. I know, right?

 

Anyway. I’m making resolutions here and now to try and get the blog active again, so without further ado, here we go.

This post was inspired by a tweet from Tobias Dracup about how he felt that his game had hit a glass ceiling lately. There was a lot of advice given, and most of it was very useful. A tip that stuck out for me included getting practice games against better players, something I’ve long been a big believer in. It’s why I make the hour’s drive north to Leicester every Monday for Squigs night. Well, correction. It’s why I started making that drive. Now I do because they’re my best mates and Monday evenings are the highlight of my week. But you also have the UK number 1 and 2 in regular attendance, along with 4 other event winners and our newer members, nearly all of whom are hitting podiums lately as well (sorry Scott, your quest for relevance continues… have you tried playing Gremlins?).

 

Some of the advice Tobias received was from me – look back at your defeats and see if there are any common themes. Any particular strategies. Any particular factions. Are you getting your scheme choices wrong. And so on. Identify problems and work to fix them.

Primarily I am one of those players that plays the game for fun. I do it for relief. I do it because I enjoy it. I do it because I thrive on the social interactions. But, and I think everyone who plays competitive anything will admit this, I do like to win too. And lately I have started to realise there are games I’m losing regularly, so I took my own advice.

It’ll come as no shock when I admit to being an aggressive player. I love the alpha strike. Applied brutality is a beautiful thing when it works, and a top-ranked player has to do a double-take because the erratic loon across the table has just pulled off a Master assassination run top of turn 2. There are other aggressive players on the scene now – Baby Squig Chris Donaldson, the shop-keeping walking rage machine Karl McConnell of Warzone’s Own and the Gonads’ (I know it’s Faux-mads but Snezzley renamed them and I can’t stop myself…) Tim Britton , to name but 3.

That means that players are adapting to deal with aggression and what I’m seeing a lot of is chess-style piece / model exchange. My opponents accept that at some point, something big and powerful that they don’t want to lose is going to disappear, and potentially a couple of its friends as well. So they set up to make extra sure that the counterattack takes my hitters down too, leaving the shells of both crews to score the remaining points in the game.

 

This is where I tend to lose. That tight, technical last couple of turns where things like activation order and finesse are paramount. Your top tier players are ultimately happy to end up in this situation because they back themselves to win these exchanges.

One game still sticks in my mind against the nicest guy in Malifaux, Rich Bream. My Sonnia crew tore into his Pandora crew with such gusto that I was 7-0 up by the end of turn 2. I was then completely outplayed, didn’t score another point and lost 9-7.

So my areas of improvement are painfully obvious. I need to teach myself some measure of finesse and learn the finer points of the game so that I’m not completely outclassed once I’m done smashing things off the table. That means playing a faction and Master that isn’t particularly forgiving of mistakes, rewards good technical play and proper activation order, and will let me get to grips with these things.

This is where it gets slightly murky. After thinking about it I realised there is a Master that meets those criteria. It’s Pandora.

 

Yes, I know. THAT Pandora. The one that induces epic keyboard-smashing rage. I can hear the indignant squeak from Castle Marshall even as I type this. That same Pandora that I published an article for here on this very blog telling people thinking about playing her to go and buy a WhoreMachine rulebook. The Master that I once bought, painted and sold 6 months later having never played.

But think about it for a second.

She is all about auras, and getting her areas of effect to overlap with those of her crew to catch enemy models between them. That means she needs to be in the right place, and the right place for her is up front. Her wounds count is a pathetic 10 and if you get it wrong, her only defence is a stat of 7. Cock it up, and I’ve seen plenty of Pandora players do so, you’ll lose her and you’ll lose her early.

The activation order has to be right in order to get that placement for her. Fears Given Form, the Neverborn upgrade that forces difficult Defence duels on activation with pain if you fail, is a double-edged sword for that reason because it affects both friend and foe. Get your bubble wrong and you could potentially have to take all those tests with your own crew, and Neverborn aren’t renowned for their staying power.

 

That lack of staying power is why, in my view, Neverborn aren’t a very forgiving faction. If you screw up then you can lose models to a single activation from your opponent. But get it right, and have those cogs turning properly, and they are very, very strong.

So I’ve decided to risk the nerd rage and play some Pandora. She ticks the boxes I need to be ticked in order to learn, and her way of coming at your opponent sideways appeals to me.

 

I’m aware of the Negative Play Experience potential and will be doing my best to mitigate it. Paralyse builds don’t appeal to me in the slightest for that very reason. I’ll be more than happy to talk things through with my opponent after the game, assuming they didn’t kick her head in. And I’ll make sure before we get going that they know what to look out for.

Ultimately though I think this experiment will be worth it. I need to learn, and Pandora will teach me. And along the way, through my own thundering incompetence or post-game chats, I hope a lot of the myths about her can be deconstructed and she won’t be so scary for people in the future. And if they prove true, at least I’ll have facts and evidence on my side rather than Internet dogma!

Hot Topic - Panzer's Crew of the Year

Afternoon all, 

After batting a few ideas back and forth with the Little Lass (aka Eless, Bunty and a few other names she doesn't like so I'm not using - Bane of Kneecaps hurts when you're 6'4" and have a long way to fall), I had an idea for a topic that I actually quite fancied having a bash at myself. So here we go. 

What's your Crew of the Year? Not bothering with faction boundaries or the need to actually accomplish anything, what 50SS of models have you found yourself enjoying most over the last year? This was inspired by those vapid 'team of the week' articles that Garth Crooks vomits forth for the BBC (his continued employment amazes me - I hear more insightful things shouted over the fence by drunk people at 3 in the morning). What if people who can string a sentence together put a Malifaux spin on it?

So this is my Crew of the Year. A few bits of it might surprise you but this is one benefit of the 'what the Faux...?' approach I tend to take!

Master: Ulix, Gremlins

Cache: 4SS

Husbandry: 3SS

Dirty Cheater: 1SS

Here you go - shock number one. My favourite Master of the year is not only a Gremlin, but one universally derided as crap. 

 

It'll come as no shock to learn I disagree with the Internet on this one. Not going to lie, Ulix has a number of shockingly awful matchups. The entire Neverborn faction for one. Marcus for another. Ressers spawning Belles for another, and in general anything that can abuse the ludicrously low Willpower score of his entire crew. 

But... If you can drop him into a game, you won't be disappointed. His summoning engine is deceptively simple once you work it out. Got a big pig? Have a 9 handy, and you can put a piglet next to it. Need a big pig? Have 3 scheme markers handy plus a 12, and CALL FORTH THE PORK (yes, I did put on the voice and the stupid gestures when casting this). Plus, he can do an impressive version of Prompt or Machine Puppet that grants positive flips to the attack if you want something flattened. 

Ultimately, I just found it so hard for me or my opponent to take the game too seriously when one side is spending the entire time generating bacon and then trying to flatten the other side with it. Ulix was sometimes brilliant, occasionally awful but always entertaining.

Totem: Malifaux Child, Outcasts

Cost: 2SS

OK, the Malifaux Child is here for 3 reasons. 

 

First is the versatility. I take him with Colette for extra Prompting, Sonnia for Flame Walls, Kaeris for Flaming Halo, Wong for cheeky extra Lightning Jumps and lots more. There are always choices unless you're a complete muppet and lose your Master early. 

Second is my model. I can't paint so I add little touches to make my models my own. The Child is a homage to reigning Master and my good friend Graham 'BluTack' Bursnell - it has a dolls house scale packet of BluTack on the base, Mr 53 on the back in tribute to his favourite crew size, and a phone featuring Rob Smith's angry face from when Graham left him at Leicester train station at 6am. 

Final reason is courtesy of the Squigs resident lunatic Brooks Martin. Malifaux Child + Mei Feng = Karate Kid. Fun enough to warrant playing Mei Feng. 

Henchman: Dr Grimwell, Guild

Cost: 9SS

Research Grant: 1SS

Disrupt Magic: 2SS 

I love this guy. Not only do you get to live every mad doctor cliche going without sullying yourself by playing McMourning, you get to put down a 'starter' model that nobody knows. 

 

The main thing I love about him is the (2) action Lobotomise. 4/6/10 damage at Ml7. Did I mention he's Nimble to make it easier to get in position for this? He's Nimble to make it easier to get in position for this. 

The moment of pant-wetting terror on an opponent's face when they realise Grimwell does that much damage and is standing next to one of their key models is worth the Soulstone cost. Every now and then, when he hits that Severe or even a Red Joker and takes out a Peacekeeper in one shot (done it twice now - sorry Craig!), the stories just fuel the terror. Gaining a Soulstone back for every kill is just the icing on the cake. 

To be honest though, the games he's really earned his points have been the ones where he's used his speed and power to chase down and eviscerate enemy scheme runners, or sat near a casting model putting them on negative flips thanks to Disrupt Magic and performed brain surgery on anything that's tried to dislodge him, or used his Doctor's Orders to push a model that the enemy thought was done. 

He looks straightforward and he can be. But he's got hidden depths...

Henchman: Phiona Gage, Guild

Cost: 8SS

Wrath of the Guild: 1SS

Debt to the Guild: 1SS

There had to be some pickaxe love in here somewhere. And here it is. 

 

Phiona and Nellie form, in my view, the strongest Master / Henchman combo in the game. They both make the other that much better. Phiona is here and Nellie isn't simply because a lot of what Phiona can offer translates well to other crews as well. 

She makes a great bodyguard due to being able to place into melee, push her ward out of melee, and then thump something as well, all for 1AP. She can summon blocking terrain. She has a surprisingly long charge range and a long reach when she gets there. And she has a version of Smell Fear too. 

Plus, I just love twatting things in the head with a pickaxe. I'm only human. 

Phiona is also here so I can wax lyrical about Debt to the Guild. At long last, after 3 waves of dross, in wave 4 the Guild got a generic upgrade that's worth taking. It's our Oathkeeper and Imbued Energies. It's not if you take it, it's where you put the 3 copies you're allowed. Draw a card and do more damage for a turn, and the upgrade stays in place for Show of Force purposes. It also pays for itself if the model dies, giving you back the Soulstone you paid. 

Thank you, Wyrd. 

Enforcer: Angelica, Arcanists

Cost: 6SS

Practised Production: 1SS

 

The primary reason I started using Angelica was as a caddy for Practised Production. That upgrade is pure unadulterated filth. Place a scheme marker near one of your models, and ignore every single rule about placing markers whilst you do it. You can drop a marker off a Malifaux Raptor that's in some obscure, unreachable corner of the board and score your schemes with a big, stupid grin and absolutely zero skill. 

I use Angelica over the much more popular Cassandra because a) I can't get Cassie to turn in 8SS of value yet, and b) Angelica feeds the all out aggression I so love by pushing models around, and letting me give a Sabretooth Cerberus or two a head start is going to make somebody's day that bit more difficult.

Minion: Ice Dancer, Arcanists

Cost: 6SS

These girls crack me up every time I use them. They're so damn good at what they do it's unreal. 

 

Walk 12", push another 4", then drop a Scheme Marker. That's Malifaux Raptor speed with a marker at the end of it. 

Or they can barrel up on the charge, hit with a 2/3/6 damage track, and then skip away afterwards and potentially still drop that marker. That was one of my biggest grins all year - an Ice Dancer kills a healthy Vik of Blood, then pushes away and drops the last Convict Labour marker for points. 

I've not even started experimenting with the ice markers they can drop yet but the Ice Dancers are already amongst my favourites. 

Minion: Field Reporter, Guild

Cost: 4SS

Yep, it's another wave 4 Guild pick! What can I say, we got new toys and they're brilliant. 

 

These can do different roles depending on what you need. They can scheme run themselves, they can mess with enemy scheme runners, or they can play a denial and control game. And they're 4SS! I don't know any models for similar cost that can make the opponent bite through their fate deck in frustration with such regularity. Being able to flip their Scheme Markers into mine for a 9 is an amazing (1) action. 

Minion: Bayou Gremlin, Gremlins

Cost: 3SS

Getting 2, potentially 3, full fat AP for 3SS is an absolute bargain. I lost count of the amount of Gremlin games won by having one or two of these little buggers in the right place at the right time.

 

You don't need to invest anything else in them to buff them, or even use cards from your hand to cheat for them as you can just Bayou 2-Card instead. 

Occasionally they even kill something, and then you really get to wind your opponent up. 

Total: 48SS

Cache: 6SS

So that's my favourite models for 2016 shoehorned into a crew. What are yours?

If you want to have a go at this I'm happy to post up some crews, and other bloggers please feel free to do your own!

Shopping List - Collodi, Neverborn

So, it's been a bit quiet here, but it's time to break the silence with the first guest writer. 

This man knows his Collodi and he was a requested Master, so without further ado...

Hello there folks! Not-Panzer here, let me start with a quick introduction… no wait.

There, that pretty much had to be first right? Anyways, I’m Graeme (Tayne on the forums when I bother to post) and one of Panzer’s teammates. I played Collodi pretty heavily earlier in the year to some success and much swearing by our friendly, resident tank-impersonator. Someone on twitter requested a shopping list for our Puppet Master so, for my faults (and they are legion), I volunteered my duties.

Naturally enough, I’m going to break Panzer’s established three sets rule a little. Collodi has two limited upgrades granting him two different playstyles, ergo I’m going to give you two sets of three. I honestly thought I would prefer one heavily and ended up loving the other, but all that tells us is that, when you get down to it, I’m a bit of a muppet at times (I agree with this sentiment - Panzer).

Fated Collodi 

Fated Collodi is primarily a support master, giving his AP to his crew to get the work done they need, passing on focus or defensive and passing one effigy buff out to his crew each turn. Which leads to our first pick.

1. Brutal Effigy

Collodi can hire any puppets, which gives him access to the seven faction effigies. Now they are of varying use depending on the situation, but the Brutal Effigy is the only one I would put as required. On top of decent stats (for a 4SS minion), it’s his zero we’re looking at here. Fear Not The Sword gives the ability to heal 1 damage after doing damage and draw 1 card after killing an opponent. Pretty good right? It gets better.

Collodi will carry Strum the Threads every time he’s played. He just will. This allows any puppet activating within aura 6 to take 2 damage and go Fast (yes, that includes Collodi himself). 2 damage to self for 3 chances to heal through this buff. The card draw is icing on the cake here, you will not regret taking him.

As a side note, you can use his poor shooting attack to hit Collodi and give the Puppet Lord a free 3” push each time. You may have to cheat to make sure the attack misses though.

2. Stitched Together

These fiendish little treasures will have your opponents cursing you up and down every street of whatever town you’re playing in. Gamble Your Life is a shockingly powerful attack, dealing an uncheatable 3/4/7 to the loser of the duel with no + or – applied.

Now this does mean they can end up dealing a hefty damage to themselves. This is mitigated this by a) picking targets you can bully (Ca6 vs Df, pick the targets with the lower Df stat as a priority) b) them having Hard to Kill and c) getting reactivate when they drop to 1 wound remaining. Yeah, they only have one wound left, but another activation is very, very strong.

3. Widow Weaver





It’s a non-puppet! Yet she is thematically involved with Collodi as she can create Wicked Dolls with her upgrade (it’s an expensive upgrade though - I personally don’t take it) and giving friendly Constructs that activate within 6” of her +1 Wk. Remember those Stitched? Their downside is having a slow Wk4, good old Widow mitigates this for use.

But wait, there’s more. She drops Web markers at the rate of one a turn, lowering the Wp of enemies by 1 per marker within 3”. Collodi’s sole attack is against Wp. Nice. It also boosts her own Terrifying (All) to a potentially higher level. Be wary though, she only has a Df4 and will drop quickly if your opponent focuses fire on her.

I’ll give a quick nod here to Luke Cocksedge, a seasoned Collodi player who runs this Fated list regularly and schooled me with it at Bending Fate. Well played that man, your Collodi is terrifying.

Bag of Props Collodi

With this upgrade, Collodi becomes greedy and steals Focus or Defensive off nearby models to use for himself. He comes with plenty of Marionette totems that can become Focus-fodder in the box, no extra purchases needed there (I generally take 2-3). So, what do I put in his three?

1. Brutal Effigy

Yes. He’s that good he makes both lists.









2. Doppleganger (cue Rooney tinnitus...Eeeeeee-Doppleganger-in-a-dodgy-Canadian-accent-eeeeeee)

You can’t be surprised she made the list somewhere, right? This model is amazing. She has Don’t Mind Me for Interact shenanigans, Ill Omens for Initiative shenanigans and the ability to copy actions on top of a high manipulative value for her defence. She is amazing and almost always causes a pain for your opponent. She is also valued by every Neverborn Master if you’re thinking about later expansion. Buy her, you won’t regret it.









3. McTavish

It’s a tough choice here, you definitely want something big and scary and Nekima or a Teddy could easily be hired if you want to stay in faction or Lazarus as an alternate mercenary, but allow me to explain my reasoning.

Collodi is scary. His attack doesn’t randomise and ignores cover, it has a built in slow trigger and other triggers to make your opponent make an immediate 1 action or steal their first AP when they activate. He is mean and deserves far more hate than he has right now, in my opinion. He is, however, just one model.

Now look at McTavish. A 14” gun that ignores cover, doesn’t randomise and has an excellent damage track. Oh, and that the Doppleganger can mimic for you. On top of this, he has a healthy melee attack to boot. With him, Collodi and the Doppleganger you have a huge control area that your opponent should fear to enter. Nice, eh?

Honourable mention – Mannequin

Now I know I said I’d only do two sets of three, but the Mannequin has a certain place for me that I think needs highlighting. This is due to its 1 action, Magician’s Assistant, which allows models within 2” to place scheme markers anywhere with 6” rather than in base contact with themselves.

That’s right, scheme markers are like Frisbees now.

Now you do still need to keep them 4” from other markers as usual, and you cannot interact if you are engaged (usually, oh hello there Doppleganger!) but this makes schemes like Set Up fairly trivial to complete with Collodi. If I’m taking one of these, I normally have at least two Marionnettes in the list as well to use alongside.

Anyways, that’s all for me. I really need to stop procrastinating and paint models ready for the Nationals…

Apologies to Graeme for taking so long to post this. Yes, he did send it to me before Nationals. But I'm also a muppet. 

Hope you enjoyed the article!

Tournament Review - UK Nationals, 12 / 13 November 2016

Venue: Battlefield Hobbies, Daventry, Northamptonshire UK

Tournament Organiser: Mike Marshall, aided and abetted by Lee Battrick and Jen Truby, and sometimes helped sometimes hindered by Benjamin 'Joffrey' Crowe and Oz Capewell.

So where do you even start? This was, at 124 players, comfortably the biggest Malifaux tournament ever. As well as copious amounts of prize support Wyrd Games sent over Malifaux's lead designer Aaron Darland to take in the sights (Connor Truby in a frighteningly good Changeling costume...) and sounds (mostly Mike over the PA system). And enough glassware and wood and trophies were given away, it took as long to set them all up for the prize giving as it did for us players to pack away the terrain from 62 tables. 

I'm going to go ahead and say this - I have never had as much fun in a weekend's gaming in 18-odd years of attending events. Meeting up with so many awesome people and being able to hang out and chat was just amazing. There were so many people I didn't even get to catch up with everyone I wanted to! The atmosphere was great, even at the sharp end of the event when things were getting tense. 

Considering your average gamer is as easy to organise as a herd of cats, Mike and his team of dedicated helpers did a miraculous job of corralling us into each round and making it so simple. The technology failed meaning they had to read out the entire draw and print out sheets - handled without a problem. The packs had all the paperwork we needed and between the five staff, the results sheets were distributed quickly enough that we all had the scheme pools promptly at the start of every round. 

A special mention for the packs. Every single attendee received a set of 7 UK Nationals poker chips to use as Soulstones, along with a custom fate deck with some lovely art by the multi-talented Mr Truby. These will be in use for some time and are a lovely reminder of the weekend. 

The venue was great. Battlefield Hobbies deserves to be mentioned amongst the top venues in the country. The facilities were excellent, there was enough space for everyone even with so many people present, and the guys there kept us going all weekend. It's only problem is Daventry being in the arse end of nowhere, but that's not their fault! 

If I'm being picky, the packed lunches were actually a bit rubbish and Sunday's turned up two hours late. There was lots of swapping going on so everyone could get fed with something, but there was enough there that the less discerning wouldn't be going hungry. 

But this shouldn't detract from what was a monumentally awesome tournament. Absolutely fantastic. And you better believe I'll be there next year, if I have to pit fight for tickets. 

Mr Marshall, you and your little helpers (and Mr Crowe) did you and the UK proud. Thank you all. 

Runners and Riders

(Deep breath...)

Best Cosplay: Cy Dudley (alt Barbaros)

Best Table: Mick Green (Dreamer's Bedroom - he even put a 'tour guide' there so you found all the little touches and knew what to treat the terrain as!)

Best Display Board (Wanker): Mick Green

Best Painted (Judges Choice);

3rd Mick Green

2nd Johan Hoflin

1st Alessandro Meschieri 

Best Painted (Players Choice);

3rd Bonk, the Polish legend

2nd Haydn Smith 

1st Alessandro Meschieri

Best Sports: Stuart 'Snezzley' Snares. No, I don't know how either. He got 5 votes and was out on his own... The beer must have been strong. 

Oar of Shame: Nick Pratt (last place)

Spoon of 'So Crap They Couldn't Even Win the Oar': Gordon Barlow (next to last place)

Best Fixed List: Adam Hutchinson (Kaeris)

Best Trinity: Josh Fletcher (Ramos / Von Schill / Lilith)

Best Fixed Master: Ant Hoult (Rasputina)

Best Arcanists: George Hollingdale

Best Gremlin: Ricardo Nieri 

Best Guild: Matt Lewin 

Best Neverborn: Mark Elwood

Best Outcast: Graham Bursnell

Best Resurrectionist: Martin Jones

Best 10 Thunders: Joe Jackson 

3rd Place: Joel Henry (Zipp)

2nd Place: Ricardo Nieri (Gremlins)

1st Place: Mark Elwood (Neverborn)

Tournament Report - UK Nationals, 12/13 November 2016

So this is a very delayed report for the UK Nationals. 

The main reason I've put this off is because it's more of a report on my own shortcomings than anything particularly incisive about Malifaux. Without giving too much away (if you're reading this, you're probably following my Twitter feed and know what happened), whilst wide awake and firing, I did well enough to lead the event for two rounds and fight a valiant rearguard. And then it all started to go horribly wrong...

Scheme pools aren't on this report because I forgot to write them down, and don't have the results sheet to write them up. Apologies - will try to do better.

 

Round 1

Lady Justice, Judge, Francisco Ortega, Dr Grimwell, Master Queeg, Brutal Effigy

Vs

Giordano Vignoli (Henchman for Modena, Italy)

Perdita, Francisco, Santiago, Nino, Austringer, Brutal Emissary, Enslaved Nephilim

Collect the Bounty

This one didn't last very long. 

My first activation, my Francisco put El Mayor on Lady Justice, brought her up with Hermanos de Armas and cleared the way. Next up, Judge double-walked and pulled Justice up again with Stand for Judgment. Then Grimwell used Doctor's Orders and that was another 5" for the Lady. 

When Justice activated, turn 1, she could charge literally any model in Giordano's crew. She was so far forward, and this caught him so completely by surprise, it was a very unpleasant shock. Nino died turn 1 to clear the path for my Convict Labour, his Francisco went down turn 2, and when Perdita died at the hands of the big sword early in turn 3 Giordano conceded. He had his Austringer and Nephilim left, and no chance of scoring. My Francisco had Flurried his Emissary to death and Santiago had been Lobotomised by Dr Grimwell. 

10-0 win. I felt so guilty I gave him my limited edition Perdita card, and we talked Guild for a while. My use of Queeg for Promises, and Welcome to Hell so my Henchmen could set up Convict Labour with 0 actions, really helped get me that far ahead, and notes were taken on the Justice slingshot. Not just the Viks that can do that!

Believe it or not, of the 62 games that took place in the first round, this game was the only 10-0. Which meant I was leading the event...

 

Round 2

Sonnia Criid, Francisco, Dr Grimwell, Lone Marshal, Field Reporter, 2 Watchers

Vs

Will Finn-Lewis

Lilith, Nekima, Tuco, Doppelgänger, Illuminated, Waldgeist, Primordial Magic

Extraction

I like Sonnia against Neverborn because they have monstrously high stats, Pandora taking everything on Wp7 or Lilith hiding behind Df7. Ca9 cuts through that. Being able to pick on the available models and blast off into the hidden models is even more useful. 

That's pretty much what turned this game. Lilith was skulking behind a train whilst Tuco was trying to get into position to shotgun Sonnia. Sonnia Focussed, cast at Tuco and hit the Red Joker for damage. He died screaming and burning, whilst the Blasts bracketed Lilith and Nekima. When Lilith threw Nekima up with Tangle Shadows, Nekima couldn't survive the counter attack from Francisco and Grimwell and went down quickly whilst Lilith immediately hid. That made it very difficult for him to contest the Extraction marker, especially when the Lone Marshal secured my Leave Your Mark and trick-shot off the Doppelgänger. 

It got to turn 4 when I was a little careless with Sonnia, and Lilith came out on the attack, Tangling herself in. Sonnia went down (even Badge of Office didn't help!), but then Francisco piled in and finished Lilith off. 3 points each for Neutralise the Leader...

10-6 win for the Guild. Sonnia was able to dominate the table for the opening turns whilst Lilith hid and Nekima was killed off, and that made it impossible for the Neverborn to contest the Extraction marker. Solidity is a faction weakness of theirs and boy does Sonnia make them pay for it once she's settled. 

 

Round 3

Hoffman, Peacekeeper, Guardian, 2 Steam Arachnid Swarms, 2 Watchers

Vs 

Pete Sidaway

Hamelin, Obedient Wretch, Ashes and Dust, Big Jake, 2 Winged Plague, Stolen

Squatters Rights

I was still leading the event going into the third round, which was the round of old school schemes. Unfortunately for me the strategy was Squatters Rights, and I just find it one that Guild really struggle with. Trying to interact across such a wide space is a major problem for a faction that doesn't have the interact tricks of others. The scheme pool was all scheme markers as well which made it even harder. 

Hence the choice of Hoffman. One Watcher was Nimble, the other could interact for 0 actions. The Steam Arachnid Swarms could pulse away enemy scheme markers. And between the Peacekeeper and a Guardian, the thought went, there would be enough reach to contest the squat markers. 

Unfortunately trying to keep up with a Hamelin crew on interactions is like urinating in a strong gale. Models combine into other models which push and generate more models. Some of those models have Don't Mind Me. Some of them eat my scheme markers. And in the middle of it all is my crew, getting its Blighted condition cranked up so Hamelin can go "BLEEDING DISEASE!"  

This was a very technical game. I was able to get two Squat markers and protect them, but protecting Protect Territory and Power Ritual markers from Rat Kings was much harder. That's where I lost points and couldn't get them back. All credit to Pete, he's a very good player and played Hamelin well and quickly enough that we comfortably finished all 5 turns in the time limit. 

When the dust settled, I believe I lost 6-10 (it was definitely a 4 point loss). In the circumstances, I'm almost proud of that. It was bloody hard work. 

 

From here unfortunately my notes go to pieces, and so did my Malifaux. 

Round 4 was Interference, against Jamie Clark and his Arcanists. Rollins Black took the field against Mei Feng. This game was the reason why I don't play 4 round events - my brain just can't cope, especially after the utter headf*ck that had been the previous game. 

I was horribly tired and Jamie rolled me over 6-8. To be honest it didn't really feel that close. I was being annoying with Field Reporters, and Joss bouncing off Grimwell was funny, but making daft decisions like letting Pale Rider get too close to Langston with Kang nearby turned out to be fatally idiotic. 

Overnight, unfortunately I didn't get much sleep. So when I rolled in first game on Sunday I was really feeling the effects of the previous day, and when I drew Lewis Phillips, one of the Best Guild protagonists, I really hoped I could give him a real game, my Rollins vs his Nellie. That didn't happen...

This game can be summed up with the following story. We were joking around at the start of the game about a ramp, and Rollins leaping off it. I deployed my crew and played the entire first turn before Lewis asked me if I was going to activate my Master. I'd left Rollins on the ramp. Which was Height 7. So he had to spend 2 entire turns, even at his speed, just to get into the game. 

I lost and I lost badly. Apologies to Lewis - I'll give you a real game next time!

Round 6 was a straight up cock up. I saw my Italian opponent Luca Pagliai's beautiful Perdita crew set out for Best Painted, and figured in Headhunter I'd stick to my normal plan. Sonnia Criid burns lots of things and then Watchers pick up heads and relay information. 

Luca, however, set out Hoffman. First time I've ever played against Hoffman and I didn't see him coming. Sonnia took one look at all the armour and was left saying "this is bullsh*t..." as fireballs bounced off left right and centre. 9-3 win to Luca who played very well. 

The freefall bottomed out last round against Nathan Chenery. He plays Hamelin very well, and the strategy was Stake a Claim. I swore when the draw was revealed. I swore a lot. This was going to be tough...

My list actually worked. Nellie Cochrane to hand out Fast, pull his models where they couldn't Stake, Phiona Gage and 2 Hunters to do some damage, and 2 Reporters and 3 Watchers to speed across the table. 

Unfortunately my brain didn't work. Turn 2, I Staked a Claim in the wrong half of the table, a decision that gave Nathan two free points. And thinking I was being clever, at one point I burned Nellie's entire activation to clear the path for a Watcher to Stake, forgetting that the Watcher in question had been smashed to bits in the previous turn. 

Yep. 5th straight loss. 

So having led the biggest Malifaux tournament ever for most of day 1, I sank without trace and finished on 2 wins and 5 losses, good for 102nd from 124. 

As I said at the start, I'm pleased with how I played the first 3 games. Thereafter, tiredness and its consequences meant this is not a tale of glory for the annals... 

Preview - Malifaux Nationals

So as I write this, at 0200 in the grip of insomnia, the greatest Malifaux tournament ever will start in a little over 6 hours. Bringing nearly 130 players together under the scrutiny of Mike Marshall, in my view the best tournament organiser out there and the only one who would be able to pull this off, it promises to be something truly special. Every year Mike manages to outdo himself and I have every confidence that he'll do it again. 

Through absolutely no fault of anyone else, my record with these events is unfortunately not good at all. I'm quite open about it - I suffer from bipolar disorder. Normally it's medicated and managed, but it does make me very susceptible to cracking under sustained pressure, and I always seem to get hit right in the personal life around Nationals time. I wasn't able to finish the first such event I attended, the M2GT in York, having had a complete breakdown at the start of day 2. And thanks to a really tough time at work, I didn't even make it up for the Nationals in 2015, something that still rankles even now. 

 

So how do things look heading into 2016? 

On paper, it's not exactly encouraging. I've just come out of one of the most stressful and traumatic times of my life. My medication had to be revised, I was and still am in therapy, and am consequently unemployed. Hell, I'm writing this at 2 in the morning because I can't sleep. 

My aim is just to finish the event. Hand in 7 sets of scores and get a final placing. With everything that's going on, and my history with the event, I'll be so chuffed if I can manage that. It sounds so simple but trust me, it won't be! 

Luckily I have reasons to be hopeful. The Nationals are in Daventry Northamptonshire this year, and I live a little under an hour away in the same county. So I can sleep in my own bed, which is a massive help. And I have one of my closest friends Claire, aka Eless and the Little Lass, staying with me and organising me. 

At this point I could go on about gaming aims. If everything was right, I was in a good frame of mind and things were settled at home, I reckon I could aim high. Without any false modesty, on my day I'm a match for anybody. Made the Masters last year, have held best in faction badges on the rankings site, and revel in my 7 tournament wins. I fought even the mighty Maria to a draw last time we played, and I used a Hoffman construct crew against an Outcast crew featuring Relic Hammers everywhere. The race for Best Guild at Nationals would be a 3-way shootout with Matt Lewin, Jamie Phillips and me. 

I've had to accept that it won't go like that. Best Guild is a 2-way shootout that I'm not in. I'll give it my best shot but I really don't care about my result. I just want to enjoy what will be a fantastic event and to do that I can't let the pressure to perform well build up. I'd love to do well, and sneak a top 20 finish that might just be enough to get me into the Masters for a second year. But it isn't going to happen. I'm making mistakes and at the moment don't have the concentration necessary to play at the cutting edge. So I'm going to play my normal hyper-aggressive game and just see where it takes me. Pressure off, and just play the game. That's easier said than done but this is something I've had to train myself to do over the last few months. 

 

On the table, I'll be running my beloved Guild. I've played all 8 Masters extensively but have settled on a core of 5. Guild McMourning and Perdita just haven't clicked with me for some reason. I don't know what it is or why, but I can't get on with them. And Lucius, whilst being thematically and fluff-wise one of the coolest Masters and a brilliant model, is just horribly underpowered. There is seemingly always a better option, which is heartbreaking, but I'm just not that keen to spend games pushing sh*t uphill! 

So that leaves me with a core of Lady Justice (face-ripper extraordinaire), Sonnia (the queen of the flaming Blast), Nellie Cochrane (latest tool in the box, and an amazing option), Hoffman (all the stompy robots) and Rollins Black (alt McCabe, the only Master in Guild capable of corralling enough models for table quarter strategies). I know each of these inside and out, I know what models I like to run with them and I know what they can achieve. 

Best of all, there's enough variety there that it keeps my opponent guessing. If they go elite, they risk running into Lady Justice and 4 Henchmen and struggling. Taking hundreds of models is good for activation control, but when Sonnia hits the table they could well wind up so much scattered ash. And Nellie now allows the Guild to play a control and denial game. 

The event is a fully painted event, which means models just sitting there primed or half finished can't be used. This has meant a lot of brush time for me - I actually don't enjoy painting at all, so I don't do much of it. There are models that I'd like to have available that aren't painted, so they have to stay on the shelf. No Mounted Guard, or Rail Golem for Hoffman, or Brutal Emissary, amongst others. But I still think that I've got enough ready to go and my core models are ready. 

Plans wise, there aren't many that can be made. At Nationals, strategies, schemes and deployments aren't released until just before the game, so you can't look at the pool and have something ready to go in advance. A key skill for Malifaux is being able to prepare on the fly and this event will certainly test that! 

Anyway. I'm going to try again for this wonderful 'sleep' thing that everyone else raves about. I'm really excited about playing tomorrow with so many awesome people present. It's going to be a blast. 

I'll try and post some updates as the day rolls on.